The End of the Honeymoon?

He didn't make his bed.  That's right.  Tragic, I know.  For 36 straight days, this little boy has gotten up, straightened his bedding, folded his blanket, placed it at the foot of his bed, and then started his day.  On day 37, he just got up, left the blankets crumpled behind him, and came to find Mom for some snuggle time. That was my first indication that the honeymoon might be ending. 

The same day, he produced a sloppy handwriting sheet.  "What?" you say.  "Sloppy work from this child?  Impossible."  Soon after, I asked him to help out with cleaning the toys off the family room floor.  He gave me a tentative "no" and tried to desert his siblings, leaving them with the mess. 

I tell you all of this not to express disappointment, but rather joy!  He is relaxing.  He is not feeling the constant pressure to be a perfect little boy, to earn our love, or to avoid rejection.  He is behaving more and more like a normal little six year old.  We are doing our best to be consistent in our boundaries, and he is testing them periodically, but I can't help but smile through my frustration as I can see the benefit of his mild attempts at less-than-perfect behavior.  Tougher fr mom, but healthier for him.

I revisited this blog earlier today and was reminded that we are at the 4 week home mark.  According to Jen Hatmaker's (very entertaining) timeline, the fun hasn't even really begun yet.  We've got all kinds of excitement ahead of us in this journey of grief and attachment and healing.

Earlier this week, I met with a specialist in international adoption issues, including grief counselling.  This was my attempt at being proactive in dealing with the broken heart that must certainly be hiding behind all the smiles and giggles we see every day.  I told her that I was dumbfounded that, after all he's been through in the last 25 months, he seemed so emotionally healthy and happy.  I explained that I had been braced for such a bigger challenge.  The woman actually laughed at me.  She said, "What's your rush?  Enjoy the honeymoon while it lasts, because you are not exempt from grief.  It will come.  And it will come without warning - probably when you're in the left lane of the beltway, unable to pull over and respond appropriately."  Needless to say, I will be staying off the beltway for the foreseeable future! 

But seriously, I do think our honeymoon period is beginning to taper.  And we still have a large enough language barrier that I really fear the feat of tackling what may lie just around the corner.  I know in my head that only my God is big enough to heal my child 's heart, but my own mama-heart yearns to fix it all right this instant (before he has to actually face all the really big hurt), preferably with one great big bear hug that fully expresses to him how fully loved and treasured he is.