Under the Pillow

If you recall, one of our earliest issues to address with Little Weeds #4 was the idea of ownership.  It was a really big deal and caused frequent stress to him as he figured out the difference between community ownership, personal ownership, and sharing of objects belonging to each of these categories.  Now that Little Weeds #4 is able to communicate much more clearly and has shared more of his story and experiences from his past, I can see that this was not only an issue of lack of exposure to personal ownership, but also to his personal experience with theft.  He has recounted numerous episodes in which things that were special to him were stolen from him by other children at the orphanage.  He was in a major "protect my stuff" mode when he arrived home. 

He has come soooooo far since then.  We have almost no issues with this within our family, although he does ask almost weekly for clarification if something belongs to him or to everybody.  Now though, he is very willing to accept that many things belong to everybody in the family and doesn't even bat an eyelash at the idea.  We still struggle a bit when we have friends over to play.  The trust just isn't there yet, and what six, seven, or eight year old do you know who could comprehend the complexity behind the urge to protect a perceived threat to his stuff?!? 

All that said, I think we've recently had a breakthrough.  Despite the fact that the behavioral issues are coming along nicely, there was still evidence of a heart issue.  When I lied down with #4 at night, it was a bit "bumpy."  That's because if you peeked under his pillow, you would have seen this:

 

Those are his treasures.  His swimming class certificate, two library books, his "wallet", a drawing of me, a duct tape purse filled with tiny toys, bubbles, a flashlight, and a magic wand. Those still required protection while he slept. 

 

 

Well, two weeks ago, I decided things were getting out of control.  I climbed up to read him a book and there was no room for me!  I asked him to clean up his bed by the next night.  He worked diligently the next day to get his animals organized, move some things around, and make room for mommy.  He then moved on to organize his toy shelf and his drawer of treasures in his dresser.  It became a big project!  And when book time came the next night, there was room.  It was still a little bumpy under that pillow, but there was room.

 

Then it was Thursday.  I was returning a blanket to his room, so I folded it and climbed the ladder to place it at the foot of his bed.  His pillow was in my way, so before tossing it to the head of the bed, I glanced up and saw this:

Nothing.  (Unless you count the stuffed line of defense against nightmares and the boogieman.)  I did a little peeking around and discovered that all his treasures had been moved to more typical places - like the top of his dresser or his toy shelf.  I can't tell you how this makes my heart smile.  Trust is a very precious thing.  And he's just extended a little bit more to the rest of us.