Adoption is an Endurance Event.

I am a sprinter.  Or at least I used to be.  I was quick off the blocks and loved the intensity of the adrenaline rush followed by an immediate result.  Race starts.  Push hard.  Feel the wind in my face.  Race over.  Ask me to run anything over a mile, and I'll tell you that not only is it likely that my body won't even consider cooperating, but I will garner no enjoyment from the experience either.  I don't do endurance.  Blech!

How does this relate to my life right now, you ask?  Well, two months ago, the race began with our meeting Little Weed #4.  There was adrenaline. There was focus. There was an all out sprint to do all our family needed to welcome him, make sure he was building trust and attachment, keep the rest of the kids half way stable as we all adjusted, and to keep life going day to day and hour by hour.  Thankfully, I had done enough preparation prior to travel that I had a lot of the daily grind taken care of upon our return.  Auto pay was set up for most bills, help with meals was taken care of by family and friends, carpools were arranged for the big kids transportation to sports practices, and I shed myself of many of my "extraneous" responsibilities.  That helped us through our sprint.

The sprint is over (and we did well).  But the event isn't over after the sprint.  I gave it my all, but there's this endurance event looming in front of me and I'm fighting the transition into this new phase a little bit.  Life moves along at it's regular pace whether I'm ready for it or not, and reentry into normalcy has to occur. I need to prepare my own food (Oh, and shop for it!)  I need to keep track of our finances and pay the bills regularly.  I need to help the kids along in their schoolwork and make sure that everyone is finding their place in our new normal.  And I desperately need to reconnect with the friends and family who have been graciously giving me the time and space I needed to focus on my family of 6.

I don't do endurance as well as the sprint.  It's hard.  I sometimes want to quit.  A nap sounds like a great idea.  Or maybe someone could just give me a piggyback for a few miles.  Nope, I simply don't do endurance all that well.

Unfortunately, I prefer to do things well.  Right now, the only thing I'm doing really well is falling just short of where I think I need to be.  I'm perfectly imperfect!  And I'm giving a lot of my friends, not to mention my husband and children, the opportunity to show me a lot of grace.  I'm also learning the very difficult lesson of giving myself a little grace.  Now, THAT is one hard lesson for me, but God is working on it with me. 

And then there's this little promise that keeps coming to mind.  Again, and again, and again:

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.                          Isaiah 40:30-31.

 

I'm trying to remind myself that the pace of this endurance race doesn't need to be set by me or my personal expectations.  And I don't need to run it alone.  I've got my friends, my family, and my God running right with me.  There is no timer making sure I'm on pace.  I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, accept encouragement when it's given, and try to enjoy the beauty that is unfolding right in front of my eyes.  Because it's definitely there, even if I'm sometimes too focused on the road to notice the miracle I'm passing by.

Thanks for running with me...