Orphanage Visit

Where do I begin?  I woke up early wondering again what the day would bring.  Despite the fact that our "official" request to visit the orphanage was denied prior to travel (against regulations?!?) we made a quiet request again yesterday while chatting with the orphanage worker, Ms Yong.  She got on her phone and made it happen.  We were to meet our guide in the lobby at 10:30 for the 30 minute drive. 

I had a little anxiety about the day, but Sticks was really worried.  He even asked if we should consider just having me go alone.  I felt confident enough that even if it was emotionally tough on #4 that it would be good for him in the long run.  It was an opportunity for him to show us where he lived, who "his people" were, and share that piece of history with us.  It would also give him closure as he would leave with us this time.  Still, we were very concerned that #4 might be confused, especially when we said it was time to go, he grabbed his backpack and started packing all his belongings into it.  Using the miraculous translator app, I explained that we were leaving now, but would be coming back.  He could leave his toys here and they would be safe.  He seemed to understand, helped me pack snacks to take with us, and insisted on carrying the food for the family in his backpack.  (He later kindly distributed it all, making sure everyone had what they liked.) 

When we got in the van, we asked our guide to explain again that we were going to visit, but that he would be coming back with us.  His question to me?  When do we go on the airplane?  :) 

Traffic was heavy and it took a while to get to that side of the city.  We were sitting in heavy city traffic, just crawling along when #4 started jumping up and down (he does NOT have vehicle safety behavior down yet) excitedly pointing and saying, "We're close, we're close!  Go up there and turn left!  It's the yellow building on the left!"  The driver and guide were both cracking up because he was absolutely correct.  We were a mile or two away, and he knew exactly where we were!

We pulled into the yellow building, jumped out of the van, and were pulled quickly by a very excited 6 year old toward the front doors.  (Note:  There are several families who recently adopted who were not granted a visit.  I am providing excessive details about the physical environment and my observations of how things work there for those families.)

The front entrance was a rather grand foyer with a floor to ceiling carved mural of the Great Wall and children in various activities.  To the right was a set of elevators.  To the left was the physical therapy area for the children with special needs.  They let us peek in there (no pictures allowed though) and I was so impressed with what was happening.  Quite a number of children were receiving one on one work in a variety of activities.  After seeing the opposite situation in a number of orphanages, it was refreshing to see some genuine effort being put into these kids.

#4 led us quickly to the elevators, passing a basketball hoop in the hallway that we had seen in a photo of him yesterday.  As soon as we got off the elevator, we spotted a woman and two young children running down the hallway towards us.  It was his foster mother and two younger foster siblings!

The new section of the orphanage is set up "family style."  The floor is divided into apartment-like rooms and each orphanage staff member lives there with a group of children in her care.  #4's foster mom has 5 children living in her apartment.  His foster siblings included two older girls, one younger girl, and one younger boy. There was a wonderfully decorated small living area and off to the right were two small bedrooms with just enough room for 2-3 beds each.  There was a staircase leading overhead and another two rooms up there, one of which was foster mom's.  The goal is to create a family-like environment for the children with one consistent caregiver.  I LOVED this.

This woman was my son's special angel.  She truly loved him, guided him, and cared for him.  She thanked us for adopting #4, but through tears said that she would miss him very much.  She shared some wonderful things about him - that he is very helpful and neat, that he eats everything given to him, that he is artistic and loves to draw and paint, and that he is very smart, but not motivated to study yet.  We asked #4 to have his picture taken with foster mom, and he declined.  He was holding my hand pretty tightly by this time, so I didn't push it.  We did pop him on the couch with us for a photo with all of us, so that will have to suffice.  He also was able to grab his favorite bear.  We asked if he wanted to leave it there for another child and he declined, claiming that without the bear, he would be so afraid at night.  (This kid ain't afraid of nothin', but it got him what he wanted!)

As I sit here loading photos and rereading the draft I wrote yesterday, I am struck by the fact that he even OWNED a stuffed bear.  What a gift.  Most orphans don't have anything that personally belongs to them.  Every child in this home had their own stuffed bear.  Many orphanages don't allow stuffed animals due to difficulties with hygiene and the spread of scabies and lice.  I couldn't be more thrilled that my son has had the opportunity to have his very own lovie.  I'm not sure how the bear will be transported on the airplane since it's nearly as big as #4 himself, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Next we went upstairs to the next floor where a preschool run by Half the Sky was set up.  Very nice.  There were only two children up there, so I'm not sure where everyone else was at the time.  The staff was happy to see #4 and wished him well though.

We went back down to the main level and started chatting for minute.  We really wanted to make sure they understood how grateful we were for all they have done for #4.  Really and truly grateful.  #4 shows no signs yet of any institutional delays and seems to be a pretty well-adjusted kid.  Amazing.  #4 seemed to be getting more anxious by this time, holding my hand in a death grip, and pulling me toward the doorway.  I got the picture, read the body language, and asked our guide if we could get a move on.  We stopped for a few quick final pictures in front of the building and said, "Bye-bye" to the orphanage. He left this place yesterday as an orphan.  He left today as a beloved son.  I wonder if it feels any different to him.

 As soon as we got in the van, he gave me his camera and asked Sweet One to pose with him and his bear.  He stared at the resulting image for several minutes quietly.  Then he returned in full force and started passing out snacks to everyone, making sure everyone got an M&M from his trail mix.

We hit the pool once we got back to the hotel and enjoyed our boy's very first swim.  No fear at all, but a lot of sputtering and attempts at back floating - to be like big sister! "Hold me like big sister!  I want to do it like big sister."

We're heading out for some authentic Uighur food.  Okay, that ended up in failure.  We are really having trouble with food.  Breakfasts are fine because they are the hotel buffet, including a few recognizable Western offerings.  This area is remote enough that almost no one speaks English.  We tried going to the Uighur (pronounced "Wee-ger"; the Muslim minority group that I think is native to the area prior to becoming part of China) restaurant down the street.  We walked in and used charades to ask if we could see a menu.  We wanted to see if pictures might be included.  The woman shook her head and escorted us to the door.  Hmmm... not sure what that was about.  In hindsight, I think she was probably directing us outside to look at the actual uncooked food that they had to offer, but at the time, we thought we were being dismissed or that they weren't open yet for dinner.  (Aside:  China officially has one time zone.  The entire country is on Beijing time.  We are using this time for our appointments, etc, so that is what our bodies are using for sleep and meal needs.  The locals, however, use a time that is in a little more agreement with the sun.  This creates a bit of a dilemma though when we want dinner at 6 (official time) but they don't open until 6 (local time), two hours later.  It appears NO ONE eats dinner at the time of day we were trying to find food.)  After leaving the Uighur place, we headed next door to another restaurant.  The Fairy Godmother was a little nervous about that fact that the lamb kabobs being prepared out on the sidewalk were not fly-free, but we decided to inquire anyway.  They were happy to try to show us what they had, but we ran into another grand communication breakdown and didn't even attempt to order.  We decided to go back to the hotel, admit defeat, and work with our guide tomorrow to write out a specific order at a specific restaurant.  We just aren't adventurous enough with all the kids to just wing it and see what lands on our plates.  We ended up in a small cafe in the hotel (had the place to ourselves, of course) and used the translator app to work through our order.  #4 ate his meal, most of mine, and a good chunk of what Ziggity would let him share.  This kid can eat like there is no tomorrow!  The rest of us ended going back to the room and supplementing with snacks.  ;)  *Stacey, I can't tell you how grateful I am that you helped us out with snack shopping.  It is turning out that a meal a day (at least) is being built around those staples.*

Shortly after returning to the room, a wave of exhaustion overcame me, accompanied by a massive headache.  I decided to lay down for a few minutes.  Sticks woke me up at 10 (yikes!) to tell me that #4 was having some trouble.  The tears had finally arrived.  I haven't yet gotten the details of the evening, since I was apparently partially comatose, but I tucked #4 in, gave him some snuggles, and asked him if he was okay.  ("Are you okay?" has turned out to be the most valuable Chinese phrase I could have learned.)  He asked if Baba could move over to the other side of the bed so that I could lay on the side closest to his bed.  We quickly made the switch. He smiled, closed his eyes, and was out like a light.  Since he has spent so much time playing with Sticks today, it did my heart good to know that he looked to me for comfort. 

Looking forward to whatever tomorrow brings.... And praising God through it all.