Day 4 recap: The Park

We got here on Monday.  We met Samuel around 10:30.  He was ready to leave by 10:35.  We were ready to leave by Tuesday night.  We have a flight to catch this evening.  Unfortunately, it is delayed at least an hour already (and just learned that there is a typhoon warning), putting us in Guangzhou after midnight, but at least we’ll be moving one step closer to home.  We have enjoyed seeing some of Samuel’s city, but we’ve absorbed all the culture we can at this point without living outside the hotel, knowing the language, or staying for a significantly longer period of time.  And we are all homesick – even the one who has never even been home!

There’s also “reality” to deal with.  I was so completely braced to handle the worst case scenario in meeting #4, and since we are experiencing very nearly a best case scenario (plus the honeymoon period of adoption on top of that), I am so focused on the positive that my heart really can’t stop smiling.  But if I step back and look at the realities of this week, I can see that we are using everything in us (and Fairy Godmother) to make it all work.   We have four kids with us that we either need to keep occupied in the hotel room or guard and protect outside the hotel room.  One of those children is enduring the hugest change in his life he will likely every encounter and can’t make his new parents understand all that he is saying (and it’s a LOT).  Another of those children is working through so many issues of her own, including adoption issues, losing her seat as youngest, watching someone else get more attention that she does from those outside the family, seeing that #4 is better than her at some things, trying super hard to be the best big sister the world has ever known, missing her toys, fighting a sore throat and cough, and longing to talk to her BFF back home. (Miss you, A!)  The food issue is a huge stressor for all of us, and living out of a suitcase is no picnic for a mama who prefers a lot of order and a structured schedule.  I hope this doesn’t come across as complaining, because it truly isn’t.  It’s just reality.  We’ll all grow from the experience, but that doesn’t make it easy. Just memorable. J

Back to the yesterday.  It was a "free day" meaning we didn't have any scheduled activities.  The only appointments that needed to be attended could be handled by our guide alone.  We decided that a walk down to "The People's Park" was in order.  My cyber-friend, Chanda, had been there a few days earlier and posted some gorgeous photos.  She's a much better photographer than I am, so you won't get to enjoy the true beauty of the location on this blog.  :)  We entered the park and almost immediately heard music.  There was a courtyard area with people singing together and another group dancing together.  Fairy Godmother decided this was her kind of park!  Go for a walk, dance for a while, and then on your way again. 

Over and over again, we saw groups of musicians just hanging out together.  It seemed to be an atmosphere of "bring your instrument to the park and play along or jam with whoever is willing."  This often occurred in close proximity to other musicians, so there were competing tunes on occasion, but still fun to watch.

#4 was enamoured with the grass in the park and as soon as he found a tree, he set out to climb it.  On his first attempt, he required a boost from mama.

This kid is a problem solver through and through.  He looked around and found a large rock, brought it to the base of the tree, and was able to make the climb all by himself!

Proud boy!

After letting Sweet One also demonstrate her monkey-like climbing abilities, we set out to explore a bit more.  There was a small water park and a fair-looking section.  The kids were all itching to do something physical, so we paid a couple bucks to let them jump on trampolines.  (They were rigged with bungies and harnesses that didn't necessarily look OSHA-approved, so Ziggity opted out due to his size.)We attracted a great deal of attention with a good number of incomprehensible questions, so I pulled out the card I had that said we were here to adopt #4, we would be taking him home with us to America, and that we would love him very much.  That garnered some interest, and the card got passed around a bit.  Several people approached #4 and (hopefully) gave him some words of encouragement.  I hate that I can't understand what's being said to my son, but he handled it like a champ, so I don't think it was anything but positive.

Adjacent to the trampoline area was a playground.  What was so cool about it (the physical therapist in Fairy Godmother was drooling) was that there were more adults on the playground than children!  The elderly were doing things that we had trouble with.  I think this may speak to the health and longevity seen in this culture.  There is no way most seniors in our country could do what almost all of these folks were doing. 

Soon after we had our fill of exercises, we wandered over to a small lake area.  On the way, #4 began excitedly pointing to a vendor and chattering away.  I thought he was asking for popcorn.  I said no, we had snacks with us.  Then he kept saying "fly, fly" in Chinese.  I thought he was asking about the plane ride.  He shook his head, and I said I was sorry I didn't understand.  We both dropped it and walked on.  He lost his smile for a bit and then when we were standing watching another musician, the tears came.  This boy does NOT like to cry and was doing everything in his power to hold it in, but it just wasn't containable.  Sweet One noticed and burst into tears herself.  We separated the two so they didn't feed off each other.  Sticks consoled Sweet One while I took #4 off to the side to see if we could figure out what was wrong.  He pointed to another vendor and just looked so forlorn.  I took him over and asked him to point specifically at what he was talking about.  It was a 50 cent plastic egg that transformed into a flying dinosaur.  I asked him if he wanted that.  He said, "Please, mama.  Could I have just one?"  Broke.  My.  Heart.    I immediately asked the vendor for two, so he could share with siblings, and his shoulders showed such relief.  He said (in English), "Thank you, Mama."  I could have cried. 

We later used the translator to talk through that this had been a toy he played with at the orphanage.  He wasn't able to bring it with him, but he really loved it.  I'm not sure if the tears were more because he missed the toy or because they reminded him of all he left, but there is no question that that little piece of plastic stirred something in him.  

After that little bit of drama, we decided to head back.  Sweet One was not feeling well, I was hungry, and it was getting hot.  We discovered a Uighur restaurant that had English on the menu and ordered some pilaf, lamb, and noodles.  I loved it.  Fairy Godmother doesn't do lamb, so passed on the whole thing.  It was $20 for all 7 of us.  Unbelievable.  Oh, and when we arrived, we didn't see water on the menu (more on that in a minute), but I asked if they had it.  A few minutes later, a little girl ran over to our table with a bag from the nearby convenience store.  She pulled out bottles of water and passed them around to each of us.  They ran out to buy water just for us!

The water thing:  When we first arrived in Urumqi, our guide explained that water is sacred to the Muslim groups in the city.  She said that after washing our hands, we should never shake the water off as that was very offensive.  We should also not publicly waste water in any way.  When we had finished lunch, Sticks had a little bit of juice left in the bottom of his glass - one sip worth.  He got up to go pay and #4 started yelling after him, pointing to the glass.  Sticks said he was done and didn't want any more.  #4 quickly ran around to get the glass, finished it off himself, and then followed the rest of us out of the restaurant.  It was only later in the day that it became clear why he is was aware of a Uighur cultural no-no when we were not. 

Back at the hotel, we were playing and drawing.  #4 drew this:

He explained that the two figures on the left are Mama and Baba.  The little one in the upper right corner is Sweet One.  And the figure that fills the page...  Uigher Mama.  (This was the first I had heard that foster mom was Uighur.  And it explains how he knows about the need to completely finish the drinks at the table.)  Look at how predominant she is.  We have our place, as does Sweet One, but Uighur Mama is still first and foremost to him.  No one will ever convince me that children's art doesn't speak to their psychology.  Simply amazing.

We finished out the day with lots of packing - with assistance from a very excited and truly helpful 6 year old - and some cutting crafts.  #4 created an entire 3-D tent complete with bed, blanket, pillow, and little person all out of paper.  No fine motor difficulties there!

Oh - and I can't forget one last fun detail.  At bedtime, Sticks was heading down to the lobby to conference call with some of his team at work.  Or maybe just to get a beer.  ;) Anyway, #4 asked if he could sleep in our bed.  Sticks was worried about getting stuck in a bad habit, but I thought it was a big attachment opportunity.  I explained that he could sleep there until Baba needed to sleep, and then I would move him to his own bed.  He was pleased as punch with this arrangement, and readily agreed.  He snuggled in and fell asleep in less than a minute.  Such a nice way to end the day.

Pray for our travels.  #4 does not understand the need to sit in a vehicle nor the use for seatbelts.  Plus we will be flying after bedtime. It could be interesting. 

Next post from Guangzhou where we will get #4's American medical clearance, and get his visa to allow entry and citizenship to America.  :)  I think I see a light at the end of this tunnel!